I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
