I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
