I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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