OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
