I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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