Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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