Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
