I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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