so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
