Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
