I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
