There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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