Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
