I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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