grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
