He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
