What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
