guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize