then he tried to convert me to islam
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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