there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
