just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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