it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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