Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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