You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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