The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
