Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt. http://tfl.nu/1my8
  Replies (20) Good night (1353) Bad night (2846)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went? http://tfl.nu/cg2w
  Replies (30) Good night (1475) Bad night (4831)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself. http://tfl.nu/xysw
  Replies (6) Good night (678) Bad night (4470)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you. http://tfl.nu/x6wp
  Replies (9) Good night (5930) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed. http://tfl.nu/tpz0
  Replies (29) Good night (5136) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you http://tfl.nu/uhqk
  Replies (16) Good night (4539) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number.. http://tfl.nu/ftuv
  Replies (15) Good night (4158) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place. http://tfl.nu/ev8p
  Replies (17) Good night (1583) Bad night (4536)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled. (712): On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride. http://tfl.nu/7lij
  Replies (2) Good night (2105) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/pnw4
  Replies (9) Good night (2032) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+41): She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool" http://tfl.nu/0b6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1533) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid http://tfl.nu/81ik
  Replies (15) Good night (2077) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises http://tfl.nu/8bqz
  Replies (14) Good night (650) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): 'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/8hwk
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (1642)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero. http://tfl.nu/e4j3
  Replies (2) Good night (1203) Bad night (244)

Randomize