I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
