I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
