Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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  (507): hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning. http://tfl.nu/ul21
  Replies (7) Good night (2386) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.

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  (905): Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have. http://tfl.nu/x1lg
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (2250)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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  (860): I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly http://tfl.nu/inbj
  Replies (14) Good night (965) Bad night (3559)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth

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  (949): It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth http://tfl.nu/i6ri
  Replies (8) Good night (716) Bad night (3747)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

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  (440): it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time. http://tfl.nu/xax0
  Replies (21) Good night (1259) Bad night (7711)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  he is so annoying

  (513): View more from Ohio

  so stop sleeping with him

  (937): View more from Ohio

  yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk

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  (937): he is so annoying (513): so stop sleeping with him (937): yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk http://tfl.nu/y8qk
  Replies (25) Good night (5305) Bad night (1364)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.

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  (+31): No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam. http://tfl.nu/gz4d
  Replies (23) Good night (11768) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.

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  (707): We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday. http://tfl.nu/jjrt
  Replies (23) Good night (3915) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

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  (715): So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room. http://tfl.nu/stph
  Replies (4) Good night (1719) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?

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  (708): Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning. (773): We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we? http://tfl.nu/hntu
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.

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  (253): I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute. http://tfl.nu/d7nx
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  THATS VERY WEIRD

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  (304): Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs? (540): THATS VERY WEIRD http://tfl.nu/x698
  Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW

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  (615): Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived. (615): BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW http://tfl.nu/97uu
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker

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  (617): well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker http://tfl.nu/t0fs
  Replies (5) Good night (547) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.

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  (512): I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis. http://tfl.nu/cttq
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (271)

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