Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.