You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck