Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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  (518): i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on. http://tfl.nu/22pm
  Replies (5) Good night (4004) Bad night (691)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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  (713): eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae" http://tfl.nu/afr2
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (3440)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction

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  (864): I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction http://tfl.nu/jk7c
  Replies (71) Good night (5622) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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  (301): My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW! http://tfl.nu/gdwn
  Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (5460)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN

  (347): View more from New York

  I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

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  (347): I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN (347): I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/s3su
  Replies (41) Good night (11512) Bad night (2437)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her

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  (714): We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her http://tfl.nu/ekrz
  Replies (72) Good night (2270) Bad night (11556)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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  (757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k
  Replies (13) Good night (3157) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.

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  (509): There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/0uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (1072) Bad night (2173)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH

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  (305): Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH http://tfl.nu/d4s2
  Replies (2) Good night (2333) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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  (303): You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories. http://tfl.nu/6f6h
  Replies (15) Good night (1854) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (+91): View more from India

  I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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  (+91): I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' ! http://tfl.nu/au1d
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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  (256): I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth. http://tfl.nu/vzie
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Preach!

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  (240): You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet (410): Preach! http://tfl.nu/kmr2
  Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Well I'm in a stranger's bed.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gotta leave to watch the Lions

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  (248): Well I'm in a stranger's bed. (248): Gotta leave to watch the Lions http://tfl.nu/toks
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.

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  (931): I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/we1f
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (96)

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