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• (404): View more from Georgia

  she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

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• (310): View more from California

  Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  what type of emt are you

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT

  (330): View more from Ohio

  *shot. Why

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