Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
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No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender