I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
