it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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