What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
