i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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