How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
