I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
