Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
