Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
