I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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