C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
