Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
