I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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