did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
