trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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