S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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