you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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