come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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