ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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