I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
