he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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