she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
