Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He shit in the fireplace
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