i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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