I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
