I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
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why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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