I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize