Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
