just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
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Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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