How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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