I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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