Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
