If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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