I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
