its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
